Resting in Motion

I've been really busy this week, as you will know if you've been following this. It started to get to me. Tiredness, tight chest, breathlessness, sweating, grey, pasty skin. You know, all the signs that your heart's had enough and wants a rest!

So, I was thinking of a holiday. I decided that it would be good to have a day to myself. Well, I decided that a while back, but, because my colleague was on holiday, that was going to be impossible. Anyway, she came back to work on Wednesday. So, I decided to look at Friday as a holiday. The problem is that I had so much work to do.

Enter my youngest son. He needed my assistance yesterday afternoon. So, I explained this to my colleagues, adding that I would take my list home and work on it there. Well, they agreed to me taking the afternoon off, as well as today.

It was wonderful! I've sat here at my PC working, but without the phone ringing all the time; without people coming in to get me to do the little jobs they don't want to do; without the constant chatter of people in the background; without the noise of manufacturing in the background, or tuneless music on the radio. I've finished my work and, instead of being tired, I feel fairly energetic.

This morning, I went for my annual blood test at my GP's surgery. Then I went somewhere quiet to write my journal. It was wonderful. I haven't slept any more than normal; less, probably. Yet I feel more relaxed.

You might think this is all very well, but you haven't got the luxury of working from home. I haven't, really. My point is, though, that sometimes, just a change of location is enough to re-energize us.

So, this weekend, get out and do something different, something to pamper yourself. Enjoy it. you'll have a lot more energy when you finish.

My Trusty Journal

I haven't had the easiest few days of my life since about Thursday last week. A family member in hospital; waking up with a feeling of anger and irritation on Sunday; and a general feeling of being "down."

Yet, I have survived. I've kept going without too much trouble. And why? I keep coming back to it, but it's my journal.

Every morning, I write three pages; no compromise, no argument, three pages. Forcing yourself to write a set number of pages helps to focus the mind. And it takes a page or two to get your emotions to start clearing.

I started doing this about eleven months ago while I was reading a book about improving your creativity. The idea was that you could purge yourself of all your worries first thing in the morning. Then, you could get on with your day without too much else on your mind. It doesn't take the issues and problems away, but it does put them in perspective. Talking about things doesn't get them off your mind, but it does help you to cope with them. The trouble is, we live such busy lives, it's often difficult to find someone to talk to.

However, your journal is always available. And, it doesn't judge. It doesn't tell you what it thinks you should do. It doesn't even interfere and try to force you into its way of thinking. In effect, a journal provides the counselling that you would provide for others if they were to confide in you, if they came to you for counselling.

As for the idea of three pages, I had never thought about it until I read this book. You see, what can happen is that we are tempted to stop writing just as we're about to get to the crucial bit. We learn to avoid our issues by claiming not to have the time to linger on the page. But forcing ourselves to write three pages takes us past that.

Some days, the middle of page two feels like "the wall" that marathon runners face. That's when you know that you are about to give yourself a wonderful insight. You are about to tackle an issue that you have been avoiding or that will not go away. By the end pf page three, you feel such a relief that you can face life again.

I know it's kept me going over the last few days.

On Moods and Journals

Yesterday, I woke up with a feeling of anger, hatred, irritation and general bad mood. I think I know why. I have a relative in hospital and, when that happens, we feel so powerless to do anything. We want to help, but all we can do is visit and take in the usual little treats hospital patients get.

Anyway, I got up early and wrote it all down in my journal. I wrote about my anger. I wrote about my hatred. I wrote about my irritation. I wrote about my bad mood. I spent two and a half pages on it, telling my journal how I felt. I told my journal about the tightness in my chest. I told about the tension in my muscles.

By the time I finished page three, I could feel my chest easing. I could feel the tension releasing from my muscles. I could feel a sense of peace and calm setting in. I could face the day.

I won't say I was in a good mood all day. But I didn't upset anyone too much!

My point is that it works. A year ago, before I started keeping a journal seriously, I would have stayed in bed most of the day; or I would have got up and had a good go at just about everyone who got in my way. Instead, I was calm. I was in control.

And that's why I keep a journal.

Noise Pollution

I was trying to write my journal this morning when I was struck by the amount of noise around me. It's no wonder we're all so stressed. We can't hear ourselves think, anymore. We can't listen to our own thoughts, our own feelings. People can't just sit in silence anymore. They have to have noise around them.

We have a guy in our office who insists on having the radio on. He aslo insists on whistling along with it! Now, I'm not against music while you work. The right kind of music has been proven to help people concentrate. I remember reading a study, years ago, that showed that one company's reject rate dropped dramatically when they introduced music into the work area. And it wasn't a lack of concentration, listening to the music, that made them accept more pieces. The quality department checked the work and found that the standard had actually raised. In addition, the line checkers were rejecting less good work because they felt better about themselves.

That's all very well in a production environment where there is less emphasis on mental work and more on physical. But, I'm sitting here, trying to concentrate on a delicate situation and how to word things tactfully and the radio in the background is so distracting.

The problem is that, many people are not comfortable with their own thoughts anymore. They can't stand the quiet, because it gives them time to think about their own lives and what's happening in them.

That's where a journal becomes useful. By writing about your issues every morning, you are free to handle today's life. You are free to enjoy your life. You are free to enjoy your thoughts and emotions. You are free to enjoy the peace.

Blogging Early

Look at the time. It's seven o'clock in the morning. What am I doing blogging at this time? And having finished writing my paper journal, too!

Well, I woke up early this morning, about five. The rain was so heavy it kept me awake. So, I thought I would get an early start to the day. I did my journal, did some work that will save me time later on, and then decided to blog before going to work. I'll probably suffer tonight for not going back to sleep, but there it is.

Actually, I did check my work emails. I sent a suggestion to my boss, yesterday, as to what to do about the reduction in staff. (No! A polite, real suggestion!) When I checked my work emails this morning, he had replied telling me he thought it was a good suggestion and I could go ahead with it. Not bad, considering all that's happened lately!

Ah well. Time to get to work. After breakfast, of course!

The Right Teacher

It's said that, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

But, how does the student know who the teacher is? So often, the teachers that we have accumulated over the years are not the ones we need now. If they were, we would still have the situation where we have the same schoolmarm in the same schoolroom all our lives.

It's also true to say that we can outgrow our teachers. What happens, for example, when we ourselves start to teach ourselves. It could be that our teachers are comfortable in their way of life and see no need to change, no need to progress. That's so sad. Imagine going into your child's classroom today and hearing the almost retired teacher say, "When man eventually lands on the moon . . ."

So, why should it be any different psychologically? We are in a constant state of flux, mentally and emotionally. We are, hopefully, constantly growing. But, what if those we have looked up to have stopped, or are "resting"? What if we have lost confidence in our teachers? Not because of any failure on their part, but, simply because we can see their stagnation?

We have to put personality clashes aside. We have to remember that we are not "above" anyone else. We may be "farther along" the road, but that doesn't mean that we cannot learn from those "farther back." In fact, we must learn from them if we are to move forward. Otherwise, we might start slipping back!

Whatever Happened to Tutti Frutti Ice Cream?

My wife and children took my Mum out for the day on Friday. Now, my Mum decided that she needed to sit down for a few minutes while my wife and daughter went off to look at something. My son stayed with his grandmother.

While they were waiting, my Mum asked my son if he would go and get her an ice cream, which he was pleased to do because it meant that he would get one, too! Anyway, she said she would like a tutti frutti cone. Well, my son didn't understand, but went anyway. At the ice cream stand, he asked the assistant about a tutti frutti. Guess what? The assistant had never heard of it!

Now, tutti frutti ice cream was THE ice cream when I was growing up. It was "specially made" in Italy and shipped over to Wales so that we could enjoy this special treat. Sadly, it seems to have gone the way the dodo around these parts.

So, if any of you know where I can get my Mum a tutti frutti ice cream in South Wales (UK), please let me know!

A New Life

It is said that each day is the first day of the rest of your life. It's true, of course. Yet, after the redundancies of Friday, it's even more poignant this morning. I came into work knowing that my workload had increased again. That's the third time in six working days. Basically, I'm now responsible for four people's jobs. And I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. I haven't had a pay rise, or anything, just a "Well, we're all going to have to do more work."

Take this morning, for example. I find that, this week, I will have to go off-site three days in a row. Why? Because of the new way of doing things. My one and only assistant has gone, but "we" have decided that we have no desire for these deliveries to come to our site, so they have to go to outside warehousing. That means that, if we want them inspected, as they should be, I have to go out there.

I don't mind the journeys. I quite enjoy a little bit of travelling. It's the implications that get me. You try to spend your life staying calm, but people around you seem intent on doing it "the other way."

Ah well. That's the benefit of a journal. You can shout at them without them knowing!

To Share, Or Not To Share

I was recently asked what I wanted done with my written journals if I should die. It's an interesting question. What if I've written something about someone that would upset them? Based on the principle that those who listen at keyholes never hear any good about themselves, those who read other people's diaries never read any good about themselves, either. So, should journals be destroyed, just in case? It's a valid question.

I started to think about this. In fact, I spent some time in my journal musing on the subject. I got to thinking about the Japanese way that I heard about, where they beat the living daylights out of an effigy of their boss so that they can show him the proper respect in their everyday life. I thought about the advice to go to your room and punch your pillow until you feel better. I thought about those wonderful days before central heating when you could take your frustrations out on a woodpile. I couldn't help wondering what would be said if the truth got out. Can you imagine the conversation?

Wife: "Hello, honey. I didn't think we needed any more logs or kindling."

Husband: "Ah! My sweet. I'm just angry with you and every log I split I think it's your head."

Wife: "Oh! Darling. How lovely. You must love me a lot to take your frustrations out on the wood instead of on me. Shall I make you a cup of tea when you're finished?"

Or, consider the Japanese businessman.

Boss: "Ah! There you are. I was wondering if I had upset you."

Employee: "Yes, sir. You did. That's why I'm hitting your statue about the head with this baseball bat. It's because I respect you so much."

Boss: "I'm glad to hear it, because, once you're finished beating my effigy up, I'm going to change the face and beat your effigy up."

Employee: "Are we on for lunch later?"

Boss: "Of course. And, today, it's my treat."

Those are the effects that such behaviour is designed to elicit, and it works. We feel much better afterwards. Our loved ones and associates think so highly of us because we maintained our composure and treated them with the respect they deserve during a difficult discussion, and, often, they never know that we were upset.

Is there a differnece when it comes to a written journal? Should we not be grateful that our nearest and dearest took their anger out on paper with pen and ink, rather than on us? The truth of it is that, using a journal gives us the opportunity to calm ourselves, despite the pressures on us. We take the time to clear our minds of the other sources of stress so that, when something crops up at home or at work, we have the free space in our minds to cope with it.

As to whether to share or not, some feel it helps and others don't. Sometimes you can explain to a loved one that you were feeling frustrated and then read to him or her what you wrote. This may help them to understand your feelings. It can help if you follow your journal entry with some genuine comments about how you wrote those feelings down because you love and/or respect the person and didn't want to take your anger out on them. Sometimes, however, writing a journal just gives you time to breathe.

Either way, before deciding whether to share or not, make sure your motives are right. Often, writing your journal is enough to help you understand your feelings. Sharing it may help others to understand, too. But be very careful that it's the right thing to do.

Talk About Frustrating

On Monday, I mentioned a problem we had with the quality of supplies from our parent company. Well, that problem has been escalating all week. We now have a situation where it has cost us money.

So, let's charge them for the time required to make the repairs. Yes? No! They won't pay. I need a purchase order from them to authorise issuing a credit note! Eh?!? They won't pay for their mistakes? So, let's send the products back. Ah, but do you really want to upset them in a redundancy situation?

Incredible, isn't it? And so frustrating. It's a good job I can rant at my journal! It gives me the opportunity to resign without actually leaving my job!

Finding Support

Moving through life, there are so many things that try to drag you back or, even, drag you under. It would be easy to give up. Things happen when you least expect them and often when you have no support network available; no one to call; no one to talk to.

That's when your journal becomes useful. It becomes an opportunity to talk, to rant and rave and generally to complain, but without upsetting anyone. You have the opportunity to write out your issues, clearing your mind and heart.

And then, you have peace.

Back To Work - For Most

Ten minutes after I arrived at work this morning, a colleague aked me if I had enjoyed my holiday. I had, of course, but by this time, I had almost forgotten having been away! Such is the power of the email. You go on holiday and, by the time you get back, your email inbox is fuller than your letterbox.

One of the interesting situations that arose during my abscence was the supply of products from our parent company. I should point out that I am the local Quality Manager. Anyway, my assistant could not wait to tell me that the latest delivery from our "superiors" was not satisfactory. It wasn't really a big issue, but, because of the current climate, everyone was looking for me to make a complaint. So, I did.

It actually felt quite good to most people here. We have had approximately fifty per cent redundancies inflicted on us, with most of them finishing this coming Friday. So, it was a feeling of sort of hitting back, especially since the product was one that everyone feels that they "stole" from us.

OK. So it's all politics, in a way; or friendly rivalry. Yet, the feelings don't go away. There's a sour taste in the mouth and people just want to make some sort of a gesture of disapproval. The truth is that there is nothing anyone can do about it. The redundancies actually saved the other half of the jobs, with a potential for the rest to come back at a later date. They could have closed us down! Not that it's any confort to those who are leaving, of course. Still, what can you do? For some who are leaving, it's the best thing that could happen to them, even though they don't realise it at the moment. They've become stagnant; complacent. They're stuck in a rut and don't know it. For many, it will be an opportunity to move on with their lives; an opportunity to progress.

Sadly, though, for many, it could be the end of their working lives. People planning to retire, even in a few months' time are being forced to leave early, whether they want to or not.

There were two or three people, however, who were very excited. They were due to retire within the next year or so. Being asked to leave, now, they get redundancy pay as well! One of them went into a consultation full of trepidation that he might not be accepted for redundancy. When he came out he uttered a resounding "YESSS!"

It just goes to prove that, although you can't please all of the people all of the time, you can please some of the people some of the time! Maybe that's a more positive way of looking at it.

Back Home

Well, I'm back from my holidays, and an interesting time it was, too. We ate too much and spent too much, as you do on holiday, but it was still a great week.

We went camping. The only time it rained was Tuesday, when we moved camps. We just managed to get the last tent peg in before it started. But, did it start?!?!? Thunder, lightning, and rain so hard it was coming through the seams. Still, we played cards and had great family fun.

We spent the first half of the week at Hay-on-Wye in Breckonshire. It's a great little town, known as The Town of Books. Why? Because every other shop is a book shop. Well worth a visit if you like books.

The second half of the week, we spent at the ancient Roman city of Bath. UK, that is. It's famous for its hot springs, which is why the Romans built their baths there. It was also made famous by Jane Austin. My daughter tells me that Miss Austin mentions Bath in most of her novels, mainly because she lived there for a time.

On Thursday evening, we met up with some old friends and had dinner with them on Friday, which was a wonderful end to our holiday.

And, so, it's back to the grindstone. Work on Monday, and my boss on holiday for two more weeks!